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That time of year has arrived, so wondrously coincidental with the coming of spring flowers. The Apprentice is back.

What difference a year makes. This time in 2008, Alan Sugar was still banging on about being worth eleventy billion pounds as he took a helicopter ride around Canary Wharf.

This year, with the world in the grip of the worst recession since the Thirties, the tone is likely to be more sedate. S’rAlan is unlikely to come across as so beligerently loaded. But will the contestants follow suit?

First there’s Ben Clarke - a stock broker who has, like many others, suddenly found himself with more time to kill – who claims:

To me making money is better than sex.

Hmm. Scientists have worked out that in a recession we humans turn to the finer, cheaper things in life. Not Ben. He’d rather close a deal than open his door to women.

Wayward Majid Nagra was expelled from school, but has since reformed into a professional with a shot at a million pound contract. What are the odds?! I was expelled from school, and you don’t hear me wailing platitudes such as:

I think that business is the backbone to this world. Without companies buying and selling there wouldn’t be any economy.

Or perhaps I do. Either way, it is slightly endearing the way bad Maj has eschewed the vocal masturbation in favour of a (rather tautological) view of the business world.

Estate agent Philip Taylor claims:

Business is the new rock ’n’ roll and I’m Elvis Presley.

So he’ll end up gorged and dead in a Canada Square loo.

Business manager Mona Lewis shows unusual self-confidence, gushing:

I knew I would be selected, not to sound big-headed…

Heaven forbid. It begs the question ‘Where does the BBC find these people?’ Have they no idea we are in the midst of an unemployment spiral?

A recession offers good opportunities for entrepreneurs, but these contestants could do well to remember how lucky they are – they haven’t done anything to earn their position yet.

That they have been successful (in their terms) in the past is no guarantee of future success – especially when they are clearly having trouble forgetting the boom.