Quotes of the week

Complaining about swearing on the BBC is like telling John Merrick he’s got pesto in his teeth.

Marcus Brigstock on the use of the licence fee, Radio 4’s The Now Show.

Keep nodding off. That’s why Gordon keeps shouting at me. It’s worse with Peter. He just appears. Warm breath, suddenly, in my ear. Smell of racehorses. Sometimes I nuzzle him, I’m so tired.

Hugo Rifkind’s take on Alistair Darling’s hectic week.

They lent too much, at too cheap a price for too long.

Lord Mandelson chastises banks’ financial models far too late.

It was mayhem. It was mayhem. It was a real mob. It was a real mob.

Eye-witness account of the stampede that killed a shopper at a Long-Island Walmart store on Black Friday.

[Gordon Brown] will claim that raising income tax for Little Lord Fauntleroy and his school chums will plug the £120bn gap in public finances because when he gets the extra £50 notes from all the rich people he can turn them into £5000 notes using a felt-tip pen.

The Daily Mash’s delightfully acerbic take on Brown’s remedy to public debt.